Derby logic strikes again aka lazio 4-2 Roma


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Starting eleven:
Doni
Motta, Mexès, Panucci, Riise
DDR, Pizarro
Brighi, Perrotta, Baptista
Totti



Let's throw it out there, let there be no more elephants in the room: Spalletti lost it before the game with that line-up, Spalletti lost it during the game by getting sent to the stands, all of our players were embarrassing to watch, and it's doubtful whether any of them can accurately call themselves professionals. Morganti lost it too, as per his usual MO. Oh, and the season is all but over, at the hands of everyone's favorite team. Happy Easter everybody!

As derby logic states, lazio (sic) being the team in worse form and having nothing to play for won the game. Under no circumstances does this make sense, other than in the derby. It all started horrifically when lazio scored within the first four minutes of the game, and I'm unsure whether or not Totti had actually touched the ball when Zarate's shot went in. On the first goal Roma acted like when they were all kids playing in the park; on the corner, seven Roma players failed to defend three lazio players, allowing Pandev plenty of time to volley in the shot. I repeat for dramatic effect: seven to three. After the goal the Roma players, led by Mexès (but of course) started complaining about the corner kick even being rewarded. It felt more like being fuelled by frustration at getting such a bad start than outright indignation at the mistake. And even if the indignation and outrage was genuine, it's no excuse to stop defending on a set piece...every school kid should know this, and so should a team pretending to be good enough for Champions League. In true Roma style, the second goal came almost immediately afterwards, after no one bothered to push up on Zarate and strike him down with the fury of a silver back gorilla apply pressure.

Then the game began, at least for Roma. This period, after the second goal and up to the half time interval, wasn't bad. It could have been a lot better, of course, had the team actually played in a formation containing the least bit of logic or common sense. I loved the 4-2-3-1 the past three years, but seeing it like this I don't care for. Using Brighi as our right wing, Baptista as our left wing and calling that a 4-2-3-1 is like dressing up a bearded man in a dress and saying he's Sabrina Ferrilli.

Roma did score, through Mexès on a corner, and did dominate the rest of the half. Baptista hit the post, two near-certain goals were scrambled off the goal line at the last second, but the ball wouldn't go in. Behind this goalkeeper. Then Spalletti got himself sent to the stands at half time for arguing with the referee Morganti first of all, and then ripping into Igli Tare when he interfered. Without Mister, Roma started the second half like they began the game: slow, like a diesel needing time to warm up. All the momentum there might have been before the break was gone, and so it was only right that Roma fail to establish some sort of game, and for Doni to break out a terrible mistake. Lichtenstein jumped over three Roma players, seemingly shackled to the ground, if one is to draw conclusions from their collective inability to challenge Lichtersen aerially.

What followed then was painful minute after painful minute, some more prime Morganti as he sent off Panucci, and then Mexès and Matuzalem. Just failing to invent a penalty, Morganti had close to the worst game a referee could hope to have, but it's not an alibi. This Roma would find a way to lose even with a perfect referee. DDR scored a goal (set piece again; go team, go tactics!), before Kolarov starred in another performance of 'How to Destroy the Dreams of Romanisti', eagerly co-starred by (in turn) Motta, who didn't apply pressure even after Kolarov had taken the ball the entire length of the pitch, Riise who did apply pressure but fell on his behind in doing so(not sure which is worse), and finally Doni, who for kicks decides to perform his goalkeeping as if playing in slow motion. For that dramatic effect y'know.

To top things off, some of the fans (both ends) at the game honoured the sad state the country is in after Monday's tragic earthquake in Abruzzo by fighting and generally making complete asses of themselves. Since I don't care whatsoever about the laziali, all I can do is profess disdain for the behavior of these romanisti. Especially since the whole throwing paper bombs into the lazio end of Tribuna Tevere part just reeks of not being able to handle the loss properly.

Boh.