Prospective Roma player, please find below the identikit of Roma players. Not all points apply to all players, obviously, but the higher your score, the higher the chance of you one day playing for Roma.

1. Wear sunglasses

As demonstrated in this photo gallery, wearing sunglasses is an important part of playing for Roma. This is encouraged from top-down, as president Rosella is often seen behind a pair bigger than her head in the Monte Mario section of Roma's home games, and Spalletti in the photo gallery.
Examples: Vucinic, Spalletti, basically everyone in Roma.

2. Be versatile
If you're an offensive player, you're probably already playing for Roma if you're even remotely adapt at covering several positions. Say, offensive winger and striker, to name a not completely arbitrary combination. Wing backs who can play in central defense (we didn't say how well) are also thought highly of.
Examples: Vucinic, Taddei, Baptista

3. Previous injuries are not a deal breaker
For whatever reason Roma has a knack for signing up players which have previously suffered more or less serious injuries. This, not entirely unexpected, has more than once led to problems in their new club as well. Hard to find a strong rationale for this one, but if you are currently recovering from a knee injury, please contact Daniele Pradè for further information.
Examples: Vucinic, Cicinho, Menez

4. Consider the Real Madrid bench a second home
This is one of the quickest ways around to become a Roma player. Time has shown that the combination of slashed prices and high profile of you, the player, and the club Real Madrid functions as an irresistible lure for the Roma directors. For even more of a sure fire deal, befriend Ernesto Bronzetti and await as he sings your praises in the media.
Examples: Baptista, Cicinho

5. Stay in limbo
Welcome being owned on half ownership by Roma and your previous club.
Examples: Vucinic, Motta, Pizarro

6. Be Brazilian
We just like the whole samba and jogo bonito thing you have going on.
Examples: Taddei, Julio Baptista, Cicinho, Felipe, Doni, Julio Sergio, Arthur, Juan

7. Lex Mathieu
Be aware that a sudden story of interest in you from Roma's part will not necessarily result in a speedy and smooth transfer. A minimum of two years before the first word of interest and your first game in a Roma shirt can often be expected.
Examples: Vucinic, Esposito, Guberti. To follow: Cruz, Mathieu?

8. Being over 23 is encouraged
Awkward silence between Bruno Conti and Spalletti...
Examples: Cerci, Okaka, D'Alessandro, Rosi