Confidential letter to every single sports journalist in the world

Dear sports journalist,

over the course of the past two months I have been seeing more and more reports authored by you about an imminent move by Manchester United to sign AS Roma's Mirko Vucinic. This does not surprise me, as during the aforementioned time period Mirko has been serie A's best player, and beyond scoring and winning important games I swear he once ran so fast down the left wing that for a brief moment he caused time itself to stand still. He also recycles and saves dolphins from being caught accidentally by tuna fishermen, which might not make Man United more likely to want him, but surely it doesn't hurt.

I would, however, like to bring to your attention a small, hairline crack in the armor of logic the story is dressed in: this alleged impossible to turn down offer Rosella is about to get isn't as tempting as you're making it out to be. The €21 million that are supposed to make Roma celebrate like it's 1999 is actually leaning more towards the laughable; when Roma signed Mirko it wasn't for the €3 million you're citing. It was a complicated deal, so I'm not passing judgment here, but the total sum Roma paid Lecce for the marketing opportunities linked to the usage of Veni, Vidi, Vuci (and related, also the footballing services of the player) ended up being around €18 million. And now Roma are supposed to let go for a profit of €3 mil? 

Roma took him in, paid many arms and legs for the privilege, and have waited and waited for the investment to become as wise as was hoped. It now has, as Mirko is today one of the best attackers in the world (haters are free to disagree, but we're right). Personally I wouldn't want to sell Mirko anyway, but please consult with the above information before writing about this deal in the future, and amend the impossible to resist offer to €35 mil. Minimum.